Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
