Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
