just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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