What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
