my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
