porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
