I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
