That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
You're a waste of cheezeits
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
