you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
