Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
