google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Randomize
