I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
i believe in u and ur pee
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
