he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize