the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
