Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
