take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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