why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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