Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
