Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
