Sry I called you an 8
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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