Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
