She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
