omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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