Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
