Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
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