Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did angry sex become our thing?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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