He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
