just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
