I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize