If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
