Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
