Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
