Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
