is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
