hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
