thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
