i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
These tits shall not be calmed
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
