I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Drake has all the answers
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
