I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
