Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
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You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
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Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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