What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
