I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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