Can i not drive my cunt home
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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