remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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