When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
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