Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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