I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
