Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize