well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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