You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
