His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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