First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
