420 ftw
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
