WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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