I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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