Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
