I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
