What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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